my life 4

(Continued from) 


home.  Undoubtedly, Peter felt flattered and consented by not saying a word.  Mary greeted the woman with a kiss and treated her kindly.  She was not willing to let anyone know how this immoral woman, and Peter and his unprincipled parents were degrading her again; this time, in her own home.  Charles, Zeena and Gwen nearly succeeded in crushing her engagement to Peter, and now they were invading her home and more importantly, her marriage to Peter!  Young and inexperienced as she was, Mary could not have anticipated the distressing price she would have to pay for this ceaseless assault on her marriage bed, which she accepted so passively.  

During the following year, Zeena and her husband’s barefaced abuse escalated without resistance from Peter. Mary often objected, but Peter acted as though he was deaf.  Yet it was the disillusioned Mary, who did everything in her power to make his parents feel at home during their constant, disrupting visits.  She treated them at her table and in her home with everything warm, honest, and homemade, and shared all her family and friends with them too. 

Callously, her parents-in-law repaid her kindness and hospitality by not missing a single chance to make it plain that they tolerated her only for Peter’s sake.  They used exclusive refrains such as, “We are going to visit Peter.  We were at Peter’s yesterday.  Peter has a lovely house in the country.  Peter works very hard…”  Moreover, smiling wryly at Mary’s engagement ring, Zeena taunted, “You should see Lorraine’s ring!  (Lorraine eventually married Peter’s cousin Dennis.)  Now that is something spectacular!  It’s something like the one Charles first gave me when we got engaged.” 

Zeena neglected to mention that before the engagement, Peter had flatly refused to accept money from them to buy Mary a ‘bigger stone.’  Mary’s ‘little’ diamond came from the depths of Peter’s heart and the thought of a ‘bigger stone’ never entered Mary’s mind. 


During their second year of marriage, Charles and Zeena especially, dealt the couple another crippling blow. 

Peter had to go to hospital for a sinus operation.  Mary did not have transport to visit him until that evening, when her parents took her to the hospital.  When they turned the corner to Peter’s ward, Mary’s feet turned to stone, halting her in her tracks. 

Zeena was standing next to his bed.  She was her old dressed-up self, laughing cheerfully with Gwen, who sat on the other side of Peter’s bed.  While Mary could not be with her husband that day, Gwen had spent the whole day at his side. 

Charles Manson did not come to visit Peter.  Everyone knew he was drunk in bed and did not ask about him.  He had begun to stay off work, losing one job after another, drinking heavily during the week as well. 

Mary’s parents fell into silence after they greeted Peter and the two women. 

Mary tried to smile but her lips remained unwilling.  Her tongue felt swollen and her mouth was too dry to say anything.  Zeena and Gwen continued to joke with Peter.  Gwen told enthusiastically how she helped Peter, groggy from anesthesia,  to pick up his cigarettes when he was brought out of theatre.  While an embarrassed Peter did not know where to look, Zeena laughed loudly at all the amusing things he supposedly did while recovering from the effects of anesthesia. 

How did Gwen know Peter was in hospital, was the first sane question that eventually entered the conversation. 

Coincidence, coincidence! 

Allegedly, Gwen’s sister was in another ward and Gwen bumped into Peter accidentally!  

But Mary knew Zeena, that venomous black snake, was behind it all.   

That visiting hour became the longest 60 minutes of Mary’s life. 

When it was time to say goodbye, Zeena kissed her son’s cheek, and lied lovingly to his face, “Charles sends his love.  Get well soon; we love you lots!”  Then, she surprised everyone by inviting Mary and her parents to her home for coffee. 

Strangely, Zeena did not take them to the lounge, but made them sit at the dining room table.  Charles Mansion did not get out of bed to greet them; she acted as if he did not exist.  After she made coffee, Zeena brought in a box with photos, showing each in turn, explaining when, and where the pictures were taken.

The session had scarcely begun, when Mary’s fingers froze on the photo as her mother passed her the picture. 

It was of Peter, cuddling Gwen in his arms.  Both were smiling cheerfully at the camera. 

“That was during our long weekend together in the Eastern Transvaal,” Zeena  explained nonchalantly.

More than forty years later, Mary still could not remember if she was capable of uttering a word.  She could not remember saying anything to that extremely evil woman.  This time, her mother-in-law had fired a flaming arrow that hit the center of her soul.  Mary sat stunned at such meticulously planned evil, executed so extremely pitilessly. 

Mary had never seen the box of photos before and never saw it since. 

That night, Zeena had planned everything to a T, waiting for Mary to enter her lair. 

She even had the audacity to murder Mary in plain sight of both her parents. 

Clearly, her parents had decided to avoid this merciless mess. 

Her father was a big man, who did not tolerate nonsense from her growing up – or from other people, for that matter.  He could have banged his huge fist right through that dining room table, saying enough is enough for one night!  Her mother could have told that high priestess of Satan to her smug face to let go of her gullible daughter.  Yet, they chose not to defend the trampled Mary.  They chose to avoid personal conflict with the in-laws at all cost.  Maybe, they thought they would embarrass Mary further by confronting the awful matter.  Or they could have thought that Peter would deal with it once he was well enough again.  They always loved Peter, no matter whether he misbehaved, helped Mary’s father with his car, or peeled potatoes for Mary’s mother.  Mary’s father always referred to him as “a strong and a hard working man, a good provider for Mary, and a diamond in the rough.” 

So, that night, they took their daughter home as if nothing had happened.

They left Mary alone and defenseless against these dangerous predators.  

When Peter came home from hospital a few days later, Mary told him what his mother had done, but as usual, he chose to ignore the situation and did not say a word.  His cowardly response was nothing new.  He never reacted or did what was right.  He never ‘chose Mary’s side,’ although she did not expect him to side with her when she was wrong.  Still, he never defended her when she needed him to cover her with his love. 

In short, Peter never condemned his parents’ (or anyone else’s) insatiable abuse of his wife. 

Yet, strangely, Mary was the only person for whom he ever defied Charles and Zeena’s control. 

In later years, Peter explained to Mary that his parents acted so slyly, he was never consciously aware that, the day of his great-aunt’s funeral, they actually brought him to the point where he discarded Mary to play with Gwen. 

No matter how many times Mary begged him to tell her the truth, he always strongly denied he had anything to do with Gwen after that day of the funeral. 


For many years, the matter of his hospitalization and the photo Zeena showed Mary and her parents was not discussed again.  No one knew how Zeena and Gwen had devastated the young Mary.  How lonely she was.  How humiliated.  How scared she was of losing Peter.  She did not know the Lord Jesus Christ personally, but her parents brought her up religiously.  It would have been natural for her to pray to God that night but afterwards, Mary could not remember if she did pray.  However, in His great mercy, God took pity on her.  Even though everyone else had forsaken her, He was there to dry her tears and give her strength to carry on loving Peter. 

Half a lifetime later, in 1993, after Peter had eventually repented and accepted the Lord Jesus Christ personally, he confessed to Mary the sin he had committed with Gwen that night after his great-aunt’s funeral. 

Mary wanted to know why he did not take Gwen and left her, Mary, to make a life of her own.  It was her right to have known the truth from the beginning, to make the right choices for her life.  Together Peter, his parents, and his ex girlfriend had pillaged everything precious from her life. 

He promised it was because he loved Mary and would never have been able to spend his life with anyone else.

“Why did you break up with Gwen in the first place?  You know your parents wanted you to marry her.  I would not have taken you back if I knew then what I know now.” 

Peter had to think carefully before he could answer, tears streaming down his face, “I would never have been able to stay with her after she insisted that I go to the Spiritualist Church with her,” he muttered. 

He looked Mary intently in the eyes, shaking his head defiantly. “I knew she and her mother, actually, her whole family were talking to the dead and spirits and stuff.  I always thought they were talking to the devil.  I did not want to be involved in Satanism.  No, not at all.  She was a bad woman.  I had to get away from her...  My parents never said a WORD about anything to me.  They never said anything about you or about her; I never understood what they were doing.  Mostly, I never even knew about anything they did.  I only get the picture now. 

“They never allowed me to make my own choices in life without meddling behind my back, but they never could make me stop loving you.  They never taught me about the Lord.  They brought me up in alcohol abuse and immorality.  It was as if they had put a spell on me.  You know Charles always said I am ‘the brawn and he is the brain, I shouldn’t try to think for myself.’ ‘Where there’s no sense, there’s no feeling,’ and I ‘break everything I touch!’  My mother never tried to defend me in the least!  You were the only one who stood up for me.  His favorite saying was, I am a ‘mule’s c**t, [a highly offensive term for a prostitute’s genitals,] no good to man or beast!’  The way he put his fists and feet into me since I was a little boy…  I always knew he hated me…” 

This so-called ‘father’ did not merely declare that Peter was a dehumanized, prostitute-animal, but he declared over and over again that Peter was the filthy, unproductive genitals of a prostitute-mule.  (Mules are infertile.)  According to that evil man, Peter had absolutely no right to live either as a human or as an animal, as he has no purpose or function in life but to be useless and vile.  Furthermore, this so-called ‘father’ cursed Peter to be completely worthless to both humans and animals; therefore, to be despised and rejected by humans and animals alike!  Despite Mary’s open defiance, Charles repeatedly ridiculed Peter with phrases such as these, which describe the term “Raca” perfectly.  According to Jesus Himself, these terms are punishable by law, [the law of the land, for it constitutes crimen injuria or character murder,] and also by heavenly law, as it is punishable with eternal hell! 

Even more horrendously, the ‘good’ mother of Peter never once attempted to defend her son, but instead, defended and revered her demonical husband! – (Read what God says about such twisted priorities in Lev. 5:1; Prov. 17:15; Rom. 1:32!) 

That day, Peter continued in a smothered voice, hanging his head in both his hands, “My mother helped and protected Charles in everything, because, ever since I was born, they put restraints on my mind somehow!  They were so sneaky I could not understand what they were doing to you…  to me.  I planned nothing of all this rubbish from hell!  I made many mistakes and sinned grossly against you, but I was sincere with you from the beginning.  From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were the one.  You still are the one, and you will always be the one.” 

At a later stage in their life, Mary finally knew for sure that this stinking battle did not originate from this world.  It went beyond all natural borders.  It transcended the unutterable crimes of child molestation, verbal and physical abuse, deliberate neglect; empty sexual affairs, substance abuse, family devil worship, and meticulously planned satanic strategies to tear them apart.  Although Peter and Mary did not know Jesus when all this began, He was there all the time.  This immense persecution and sorrow on every level of life, the vast scale of it, and its never-ending persistence, could only have been caused by the Lord God Himself, Who interfered with Satan’s destruction when He commanded Peter to flee from the clutches of that devil woman named Gwen. 

Mary shuddered at the thought of the armies of dark forces, which Gwen and her family were calling up against her and Peter during their séances.  Additionally, from the smothering, deceitful embrace of Peter’s mother and the schemes and assaults of her rotten, homicidal husband, must have ascended masses of demons to demolish her and Peter’s life together.  But praise God, for Jesus had a better plan for her and Peter all along. 

God wanted Peter and Mary to serve Him together in holiness. 

And God is not a man that He can be deviated from the plans He has for His chosen ones.


In spite of it all, after the encounter with Gwen and Zeena, that dreadful day when Peter went to hospital, Mary decided she would make the most of this horrid situation. 

She could not understand why she remained so completely unacceptable to her in-laws. 

She never excluded them from a birthday, Christmas, or New Year’s gathering.  Mary and Peter never even celebrated their wedding anniversary without them. Her door was always open, day and night.  For the next forty years, she tolerated most of their unacceptable behavior without a thought of chasing them away.  She made a real effort to incorporate them into her parents’ cheerful family gatherings with the result that they knew and befriended all her family and her and Peter’s friends.  She continued to share her and Peter’s life with them unreservedly.  They virtually knew everything about their son, Mary, and their life together. 

What Mary did not realize, was that Zeena and Charles Manson were maliciously worming themselves into every crevice of her and Peter’s life.  No one knew what Peter’s parents were really about.  Mary’s family and friends, and supposedly all Peter’s family and friends too, liked them and strangely, as they hardly ever saw them sober, still thought they were the most perfect parents and in-laws anyone could have.  How Charles and Zeena got around their shameful lifestyle, their heavy, careless drinking; turning their abuse of their son and daughter-in-law’s characters, life, and home into credentials for themselves, neither Peter nor Mary could figure out to this day. 

Maybe it had to do with their incessant boasting about how ‘good’ they were to Peter and Mary.  For instance, once, they bought Peter a watch for his birthday.  However, the news of how “incredibly expensive” the watch was, reached him long before they gave him his present.  It was a grand watch but never kept time for more than a hour or two before stopping and simply refusing to go again. 

Very unwisely, Mary never put any boundaries on her life or on her marriage, and very few boundaries on her heart.  She just kept on giving herself and her life to those backbiting abuser; believing love and patience would eventually touch their hearts of stone and change them. 

She knew she was cheeky at times and too straightforward to their liking, but she never treated them rudely without good cause.  She did speak her mind and even shouted when things began to go too far.  Yet, in all the ongoing, well-planned and expertly executed plans against her, she was too proud to confront their persistent looting of her and Peter’s life.  Mary had nothing evil to hide.  Nevertheless, instinctively, she hid the innermost chambers of her heart from them, knowing they would revel in her sorrow and humiliation if they knew how badly they have been wounding her.   

Mostly on a subconscious level, Mary decided, henceforward, she would do everything to the best of her ability. 

She knew she would never be perfect on this side of the grave, but she would keep herself well groomed and be the best wife she could be. She would love Peter, her in-laws, and her family as best she knew how.  She would be the best cook, baker, and homemaker she could be.  She would pursue a career and contribute to their finances to the best of her ability.  If God granted her the privilege to become a mother one day, she would be the best parent and grandparent she could be.

She would make Peter proud. 

She would make her parents proud. 

She would make her children and grandchildren proud. 

She would make her whole family and all her friends proud. 

She would make her in-laws proud.  In the end, they will see they were wrong all along.  Then, they will turn around and love her as their own daughter, just the way she always wanted it to be. 

Bizarrely, Mary thought, she had a reoccurring dream that only ceased in a time long afterwards when Peter had given his life to the Lord.  She repeatedly dreamt they have a beautiful home, but it was built on sinking sand.  While part of it was slipping into a bottomless crevice, several tornados approached, threatening to blow the rest of their home to smithereens. 

She always woke shortly before the tornados struck. 


God heard her silent cries, that’s for certain. 

Mary never saw Gwen, or heard of her again after that night at the hospital.  She never knew what happened to make that woman disappear from her and Peter’s life, but she knew something did happen that night.  Something sinister and destabilizing, which God stayed with a slight movement of His little finger.  

Many years and many buckets of tears later, Mary would realize, coming from an uncomplicated, straightforward, rural background, she never knew that human beings could be capable of such shameless, incessant evil.  Maybe, if she had not known Zeena and her husband; Peter too, and especially immoral and loose women like Gwen, she would never have known that such wickedness and lovelessness existed in this world. 


Zeena and Charles were not just drinking and causing havoc in Peter’s home, but in their own house too.  They were fighting with each other endlessly, finding fault with Mary, (she was either too fat or too thin; too clever or too stupid; too energetic or too lazy,) and all the while, they seemingly remained oblivious to their shameless, stressful disturbances on the couple’s life. 

For instance, late one Saturday afternoon, when Peter and Mary were treating a house full of guests to a home movie, (it was before the days of television,) the parents brought a male ‘friend’ named Gert with them, but Manson was too drunk to get out the car.  Zeena and Gert left him to sleep in the car and snuggled close together on the couch between the other  guests.  They were quite drunk, and Zeena rested her head sleepily on the man’s shoulder.  In a most familiar way, every now and again, Gert took her packet of cigarettes from between her folded legs, lit them each one, and pushed the packet back between her legs. 

After they left, a friend of Peter’s asked, “Hey man, is that your mother’s new boyfriend?  What happened to your dad?”

Peter shrugged his shoulders and stared at the carpet.  He remembered how, when he was about ten years old, his mother had an “affair” with Roelf, a younger man, who lived down the street.  Zeena’s husband was so furious he took her and Peter to live with him in a hotel in town while he decided what to do about the matter.  While both of them were working during the day, Peter had to see to himself and often remained hungry in the afternoons after school.  It was during that time that one of the hotel guests began doing nasty things to the little neglected, unprotected boy.  Later, this destructive trend persisted when older kids also took advantage of him, as Zeena and Charles often dumped him wherever they could to enjoy their weekend parties and holidays without him. 

Finally, after six months in the hotel, Charles decided they had to move back to their house.  They were renting the house to one of Charles’ brothers and his family during that time and since then, they have always raged behind his brother’s back about how “dreadfully Khan and them destroyed the house in such a short time!”  On their return, Zeena’s young lover had moved from the neighborhood and Charles began to slide deeper into drunkenness.   

That night when his mother left with Gert, Peter could not find words to tell how, this time, Gert, who treated his mother with such unabashed forwardness in her son’s home, shared threesomes by sleeping in the same bed as his mother and her husband when they got too drunk to “let him go home by himself.”  When Charles Manson told Peter this story, he failed to explain why, if threesomes bothered Charles that much, he did not chase Gert out the house - or at least, made him sleep in one of the two vacant bedrooms in the house? 

It was unavoidable that Mary often had to watch Charles Manson pour half a glass of neat brandy down his throat.  She choked on revulsion as he vomited the stinking stuff up and then swallowed it again.

Once, she remarked with disgust, “Sis, that’s atrocious!  How can you do that?” 

“Nice old Brampy,” He smacked and licked his lips aggravatingly while pouring another.  “Always cheaper to make two out of one!” 

“Sis on you!” Mary shuddered.  “That’s sickening!  Sis, sis, sis…” was all she could utter. 

She did not know when she despised that awful, spiteful man most, when he “made two out of one,” or when he sat in shorts without underpants, his legs spread to keep him from falling over, battling to keep his heavy head up.  That was a sight, which could have turned Mary from all men for the remainder of her natural life. 

Years later, Mary still could not understand why she never chase those two monsters from hell from her home, and from her and Peter’s life, forbidding them to return – ever!

Guess she did it “for Peter’s sake” – instead, her ‘kindness’ to Peter was to his (and her own) detriment. 


After Mary and Peter’s first son was born in December 1975, Zeena suddenly rehabilitated herself — to the great relief of especially her daughter-in-law.  However, it was too late for Zeena’s alcoholic husband, who lost one job after another until he was bedridden with booze for up to three weeks at a time.  Suddenly, the greatest dilemma of her life faced the now booze-free Zeena, which made everything more miserable for Peter and Mary. 

During such binges, Charles Manson went completely crazy.  He did not eat, did not bath or shave, did not brush his teeth; moved only between the bottle store, Brother Mike’s shebeen and his stinking bed; left his car in the middle of the street with the door wide open, and began to sell everything he could find to support his suicidal drinking sprees.